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Sink or Swim

by Brandon Zahursky

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    "Sink or Swim" is my debut full-length studio album.
    I am so blessed to have had so many incredible friends and musicians take part in the creation of this record. I wrote these songs at very different points in my life. I've learned a lot in the process. Take from them what you will, but don't take it too seriously. I love you all. Thank you so much for supporting what I do.
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1.
Hello 05:13
I don't recall when I fell, I can only say that I have fallen. And I know that I'm not getting up. Not this time, not from this one. I don't care where we're going, just know with you that I'm already gone. Because you are my best friend, and I will love you 'til I can't see the ground that stand beneath my feet. I will love you 'til the day I die, 'til the blue in the sky turns white, and the moon decides to leave the night. But I still have to say hello, 'cause we haven't spoken yet. You've only just now walked into the room. But right through the door I knew, I saw my whole life with you. And I know this is something more. So hello. Hello. We'll build a home, our love with grow with every day and we'll grow old. The sun will set and we will smile as we wait for morning to come, so we can wake and greet the sun; bathe in the warmth of its embrace. And my love, the times will change. The seasons, too. The world we know will become a world we knew. But my love for you will always remain. My skin will stretch, my hair will thin, I'll lose my wits, my bones will weaken. I will decompose, but this love will always remain. First I'll have to say hello. Hello. And baby now I am in the grave, and I am just a ghost. And I watch over you at night. And I wish you wouldn't cry, because I will see you soon. Though never soon enough for me, we'll meet in time. And our love will be renewed. But I still have to say hello, 'cause we haven't spoken yet. You've only just now walked into the room. But right through the door I knew, I saw my whole life with you. And I know this is something more. So hello. Hello.
2.
In Your Head 04:03
I went to the pharmacy with a prescription to fill. I told 'em give me what they have to change the way I feel. They gave me a bottle and I too a handful of pills to make reality a bit less real. I saw my future self on the walk back home. He was stronger and wiser, and far more composed. He looked at me and laughed, and asked if I was afraid of death. I thought it was the end, but instead he turned to me and said. He said, "It's all in your head." Then he walked me home and told me, "Life is full of shit. People are cruel and most of them are hypocrites. You'd think that's all, but that's just the half of it." I invited him in, we both sat down and shared a beer. He told me what the future held and where I should stay clear. He said that life is just a sound you can't completely hear. Because it's all in your head. It's all in your head. "And woman is a creature whose explanation knows no end. And we don't stand a fighting chance, so it's best to just give in. Just give in. Just give in. And when it comes to the rest, don't forget what I said." It's all in your head. It's all in your head.
3.
On the Rise 05:37
Where do we go when we go? We all hope for up above with no idea what's down below. Some things in this life you have to learn to never know. Sometimes in this life you have to learn to just let it go. A broken-hearted lover cries herself to sleep. She thinks she's found the one in every man she meets. And she only prays to God when there's something that she needs, so she looks above and asks the Lord for something she can keep. She searches for another, someone who can take away the pain that resonates inside her heart with the fear that she can't face. Too afraid to be alone, she tears the photos from her wall and holds an open casting call to pick up where she left off. Replacement photographs she takes, and strikes the same old pose. The feeling's not the same, but she fakes the love until it grows. And it's just the way it is today, I don't know why. Today's statistics, by tomorrow on the rise. A motherless son waits for a call that never comes, while his drug addicted mother dwells in silence by the phone. Every holiday that passes, she feels nothing at all. She's got nothing to celebrate so she counts the things she's lost. She's fully grown, but still doesn't know right from wrong, so she wastes all her days and waits until they're gone. And it's just the way it is today, I don't know why. Today's statistics, by tomorrow on the rise. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. You're blind because you rise and shine at five to get to a job that wastes your time. You spent four years reading books and now you owe the bank your life. It's hard at twenty three, with debt up to your knees. When the job you settled for doesn't even pertain to your degree. And you're upset, so you go out in a crowd to protest the budget cuts and the wrong doings of the government. You've got your sign held high in a half-assed attempt to fix the mess you're in; but you're the first to leave. 'Cause you've got work in the morning, and you need your rest, you've gotta pay the rent. And it's just the way it is today, I don't know why. Today's statistics, by tomorrow on the rise. Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
4.
Walk Away 04:21
Walk away and don't you dare say that you love me any more. It's been an uphill battle underwater with you and I for quite a while. And if you still loved me, you'd still be standing on my side of the door. And I wouldn't be falling asleep on the floor. Below the line that I have drawn down the middle of my bed that I won't cross. With the thoughts in my head that I refuse to acknowledge. You're gone, and I'm waiting up for someone who's never coming home But that's love, when you got it you don't need much. But when it's gone, you'll end up drunk and half asleep, with a feeling that you don't trust. That's love. Replaced all my sheets, but somehow they still smell like you. I tossed everything you left in a box at the back of my closet. But I still find new reminders scattered all around my room. And it doesn't help that the weather never reflects my mood. It sent me searching for myself in the arms of someone else. That did anything but help. Because a night spent in the bed of a different host only shows you what it is that you miss the most. But that's love, One day the realization will come. Everything that you've been running from won't leave you alone if you run. If you run. I recall the phone call, the moment you said it all. That conversation was nothing but one big contradiction. And I played a fool to a girl too young to know the truth. But that's love, it's the worst kind of drug. When you don't got it, you want it. And when you do, it's not enough. That's love.
5.
The weight of this boat cannot carry us both, so it's all right if you wanna go. But you'll have to swim to shore, because I don't have an oar, and if I did I'm not quite sure I'd let you know. One more thing before we part; don't forget to take your heart, 'cause I don't want it any more. Give me one last kiss before the row, and watch out for the under tow. The current'll grab you and hold you down below. Swim for shore. If you stay here, you're only gonna drown. Swim for shore. 'Cause I am only weighing us down. One thing I am guilty of is being far too young for love, and letting love become who I was. These days I have different ways. I have grown and I have changed. I'd go back, but it's too late. Swim for shore. If you stay here, we're only gonna drown. Swim for shore. 'Cause I am only weighing us down. If I've learned anything from this pain; it's that you and I are not the same. And it's about time I let you go, so swim for shore and be sure to let me know when you find what you're looking for. And if you do, I hope it's gone before you ever have the chance to let it go. Swim for shore, if you stay here we're only gonna drown. Swim for shore. 'Cause baby we are going down.
6.
Swoon 04:30
I fell asleep with you on my mind, woke up second guessing myself. Thoughts from the previous night flood my head, and I can think of nothing else. I had a dream that you were mine. Woke up, remembered how I felt. Tried to force myself back to sleep. I can see nothing else. 'Cause every time I find something, there's always something missing. But something about you makes me hope that this is something different. But I'm indifferent. And I always have my reasons. But with you, I'm only making excuses. 'Cause I like you, and that scares me to death. 'Cause I just want something that's somewhere that I've never been. My sheets are reminiscent of the scent of your skin. The taste of your kiss. Softest lips I've ever missed. And I barely know you. But let's pretend I just want to know you. With no regret. But I'm indifferent. And I always have my reasons. But with you, I'm only making excuses. 'Cause I like you, and it scares me to death. 'Cause I just want something that's somewhere that I've never been. We shared a coat to rid the cold, the wind pick up you pulled me close. And every word you spoke so soft, a whisper in my ear. Like a secret to be told, but have no fear my dear. This secret I will hold. I just want you to know. That tomorrow morning if it's all gone, I'm glad the memory always lives on.
7.
This Feeling 03:08
I've got a secret, I don't want to be the keeper of it. I feel it leaking through the cracks and seeping to the surface. I just can't help this feeling. It sends itself through my veins, up my arms and down my legs. Better than any drug that I could take. Though love is a drug in itself, I remind myself I really should know better than this by now, but every time you come around I forget all about the things I'd figured out. I just can't fight this feeling. Oh, I want you all to myself. I want you, but it's too soon to tell. So we will play this by ear, I will sit right here in the passenger's seat; girl go ahead take the wheel. But before we go, I just think you should know: I'll do all the things your ex or your next never did nor will. Oh, I just can't help this feeling. I want you all to myself. I want you, but it's too soon to tell. I've got no expectations, there are no stipulations. I just want the alleviation of all complication. The indication of good vibrations. Just trying to avoid another laceration. I'm always in transition, consistently in motion without much hesitation. No limitations, no destination. I've never been the one to leave room for assumption. I'm following my intuition, connecting coincidence, trying to make sense of this. I want to hear the sound of your amplification. Articulation, no need to abbreviate it. Rise. I want you. I can't help this feeling.
8.
October 05:09
This love has been reduced to exactly what it's worth. A broken bottle lying in pieces in the dirt. Once it served a purpose, but now it's just something to quench my thirst. This love never worked; like watching progress in reverse. I attached, we collapsed. And now this love only hurts. Love isn't everything that's advertised. There's a whole lot of black with the white. And when the night comes. The light is hard to find. When the dark falls, it will control your heart. La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da We were fine it seemed to change overnight. On the verge of over the edge. And it only got worse over time. We were in too deep. In over our heads. And now it's just over. It's over. October. October. La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Now it's just over. It's over. October. October.
9.
I've got a car that barely starts, runs its best when it's parked, looks its best in the dark, but it always gets me to where I need to be. And the cars to my left keep passing me by. It seems that everybody's in some kind of a goddamn hurry to get to where they need to go, but not to where they want to be. So I just let 'em pass, 'cause the faster you go, the less that you see. I picture you in the passengers seat, I remind myself you're just a memory. It's been a year since you talked to me. But I don't mind. This is life. And it stays this way 'til the day you die. And I don't mind. Now it's getting late, and I'm still awake, and I wanna sleep. I wanna be alone, but I know that I could use the company. 'Cause I don't wanna think about the bills that I have to pay. My money's always spent before it's made. It's hard to find a use for tomorrow today, but I don't mind. This is life. And it stays this way until the day you die. But I don't mind. No, I don't mind.
10.
Ninety percent of my problems begin and end with the piece of paper I receive every other week. And the other ten percent comes from a place you've never been; inside my head. Or maybe you have been to a similar place, where the thoughts that you perceive are the only problems that you make. And even the problems that you make come from the thoughts you preconceived, formed by over-analyzed outside opinions that make you over-think. Now baby, I'm sure that you can relate. But you can sink, or you can swim. When you're in the dirt you can stay down, or you can get up and try again. It never ends. It never ends. And I don't know how 'cause I never learned, but I'm gonna swim. Most of the time I am lost in thought; in transition from a place that is real and that is not. But when I drift back to reality this world gets the best of me, and I struggle to find a place that I belong. This is a world where you can Sing without feeling (Sink or you can swim) Live a life without a purpose or a meaning. You don't gotta practice what you preach, You don't gotta know what you teach, and no one wants nothin' if it's out of reach. But you can sink, or you can swim to the bottom of the sea, or straight for the horizon. It'll never end. And I don't know how 'cause I never learned, but I'm gonna swim. Don't know how 'cause I never learned, but I'm gonna swim.

about

Sink or Swim was recorded at Trinity Gold Media studios in Napa, CA.
Produced by Tim Gaskell.
Mastered by Jose Tenorio.

credits

released February 24, 2012

Brandon Zahursky: Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica.
Ed Stanley: Bass Guitar, Drums
Lauren O'Connell: Vocals
Andrew Arcadi: Guitar
Steven Bailey: Piano
JT Bailey: Mandolin
Keri Bailey: Violin

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Brandon Zahursky San Francisco, California

traveler of the universe, singer of songs, writer of words.
love what you do and you won't work a day in your life.

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